Author: travelpilgrim

It’s 5am and I’m awake, fully awake

/ travelpilgrim / Leave a comment

I don’t have to be up for hours but I can’t sleep and for one of the first times in my life, ever, I have decided to get up rather than just lay in bed getting annoyed. I’d already been doing that for an hour anyway.

So I’m now sat in the hostel common area which is pitch black and has two of the people who work here sleeping in it. The only thing I can actually see are about 10 mosquitoes circling me. And I’m in a malaria zone so that really isn’t great.

My dorm wasn’t much better on the mosquito front anyway though so I guess it doesn’t make that much difference.

I don’t really know why I’m awake, it’s certainly not stress induced insomnia. I haven’t felt that in a happily long time.

There are just so many thoughts going round my head right now.

I’ve spent the last week with two of the most interesting people I’ve met on my travels so far which I’m pretty certain has largely got something to do with it.

The longer I’ve been travelling the more I’ve found myself thinking in general about nothing and everything all at the same time. Not even necessarily about particularly profound things but definitely considering more what it is that does or doesn’t make me happy. Since I can affect that pretty easily now. If I don’t like something I can just stop doing it, if I’m not happy somewhere I can just move.

And I think that’s what I found so interesting about them, they were both in their own ways equally as interested in what makes us happy and had clearly at some point in their lives had the realisation where it, for whatever reason, properly hits you that this is actually it. This is all we get. This life. So if you’re not happy with something you’ve got to change it. And if you want to do something you’ve got to go do it.

One had even been going round the world filming a documentary on what it is that makes people happy (you’ll be able to check out their project soon on The Wonder Junkies).

Since I’ve been away I’ve actually found it’s the simplest things that make me happy and really surprisingly for me they’ve actually mostly been based in nature.

I say surprisingly as I’m not really someone who spends lots of time outdoors normally or goes on walks just for the sake of it. I’m usually far too busy for that shit (how ridiculous is that!).

But now I’m not and sitting looking at a view from the top of a mountain, watching a sunrise or just staring out and looking at the sea have been some of my most amazing moments whilst away.

Because the world is actually pretty cool if you look at it properly. Like really look, just sit there and get lost in what you’re looking at. It’s fucking amazing.

The bags, oh the bags

/ travelpilgrim / Leave a comment

Don’t bring it if you can’t carry it.

Seriously, I mean it. If you can’t lift your own suitcase even the smallest amount, don’t take it on holiday and DEFINITELY don’t take it travelling.

It’s bad enough that it’s a suitcase in the first place if it’s so big you can’t fit it down the aisle of a bus, boat, train or whatever else you happen to be on since that just makes everyone else have to wait. But at least if you’re going to do it, MAKE SURE YOU CAN LIFT IT.

I’m not even talking about being able to lift it above you head or anything fancy like that, just off the floor. That seems like a pretty essential requirement in my mind, but clearly not to a surprisingly large amount of people if quite far flung backpacker places.

In the space of a day I met one person with a wheelie bag that was 3 quarters the height of them and another with one that didn’t look as large, but that I later found out weighed about half as much as I do and I’m 5″8′, I’m not exactly petite.

I mean seriously. That’s not even like its a little bit too big or too heavy for you to lift, that’s just ridiculous.

One of the girls couldn’t even seem to get enough strength to wheel it let alone even lift it half an inch off the ground.

And yes I do hate that all the people I’ve seen doing this are female. I almost feel the need to chuck out half the stuff from my 15kg bag so I then have a really small one to help counteract the stereotypes that they’re causing to be formed.

Fancy being bullied into making yourself sick, shoving a rubber tube up your nose or giving yourself diarrhoea? Then just go to yoga school – Yoga Teacher Training Week 4

/ travelpilgrim / Leave a comment

It sounds ridiculous but I was genuinely pressurised and even threatened with not completing my yoga teacher training if I wasn’t willing to partake in activities such as making myself sick or giving myself diarrhoea. Apparently it was a requirement of the course.

Bollocks to that!

What I’m talking about is a practice in yoga called Shatkarma. Shatkarma describes a group of “cleansing” techniques which are practiced in yoga as part of ensuring we uphold the Niyama called Shaucha; cleanliness both internally and external as well as mentally (Niyamas are just the personal code of conduct all should adhere to in yoga).

Now I can under understand how in order to be able to meditate for hours and have clear thoughts internal cleanliness is important. No one is at their best when they’ve been eating unhealthly, overindulging and essentially not keeping their internal bodies clean (just think of that post Christmas feeling) . Given this eating clean, healthy food would naturally seem important to yoga.

Making yourself sick however is 100% not something I can get on board with being considered as an essential part of any practice. Or being preached about to impressionable 20 year olds who are clearly there because they’re looking for something missing in their lives and haven’t quite yet learnt that it’s ok to take a step back and a minute to think in any situation to decide whether you are actually ok with something rather than just following what you’re told to do.

At the yoga school Shatkarma was scheduled in our timetable for 3 mornings in one week and then for added fun there was a full day cleanse (that’s the diarrhoea bit) at the end of the week.

The Shatkarma was carried out first thing in the morning and consisted of:

A nose cleanse -pouring salt water into one nostril and letting it come out the other)
Rubber netti – pushing a rubber tube up your nose and down and out through your mouth *retching from just thinking about it*
Making yourself sick – this was done by drinking as many glasses of warm salt water as possible in quick succession then sticking your fingers down your throat

When these were discussed in class it was repeatedly mentioned that we had to try all of them and at one point even stated it was a requirement of the course to do so.

We’ll I refused. If it was genuinely a requirement of the course to do it then I just wouldn’t be qualifying as a yoga teacher.

It amazed me how pretty much everyone else just went along with it though. Unless they had a health issue that meant they couldn’t (I.e. One girl had Chrones) they just all did it.

I even got into an argument with one of the girls about it who was saying I had to and it was just part of the course. To which I was trying to argue that if there was a yoga posture that I thought would be detrimental to my health for whatever reason I wouldn’t do it but I wouldn’t expect not to pass for that reason. Especially if I still learnt how to teach it (which I did for the Shatkarma too, although really what’s to teach in that one and it’s not like I’m ever going to teach anyone else it). But still it turned into quite a heated debate.

I then also had one other girl tell me that I was just objecting to it because I was thinking of it as throwing up but that’s just what it’s called it in the West. In the East it’s called cleansing which makes it ok.

Bhahahahahahhaha. No my objection is not a semantic one. It’s to the physical process that takes place when you throw up (sorry “cleanse”) that will take place whatever you call it.

Oh well that was the first bit of fun.

Then there was diarrhoea day. That was supposed to start with vomiting *natch* and then drinking more warm salt water, doing some twisting postures, more salt water, more twisting etc. until you started going to the toilet but even once that started you were supposed to continue the salt water and twisting until all you would expel would be clear water from a part of your body that is never supposed to expel water. Anyway that was the day cleanse which according to the school required a gross combo of rice, lentil and butter to be the only food you eat for 2 days after. According to the text book they gave us, that was true but also you were supposed to eat simple, not fired, rich or spicy food for 30 days after (probably because the cleanse will have stripped your stomach of all it’s good bacteria to fight infection).

Ummmmmm, rich, spicy and fried is pretty much every meal in India so given we were leaving just 7 days after the “cleanse” and I would then be fully back in the throngs of India and at its mercy for what I could eat, again it didn’t seem like the greatest of plans.

This time though we were told that unless we had a medical condition preventing us from joining in it was compulsory.

I debated making up a medical condition but in the end decided to go with honesty (it is one of the codes of social conduct in yoga after all), say I didn’t agree that the cleanse was healthy but that I would compromise and take part until the first inkling I needed the bathroom and then stop.

So I did and that was fine. All of the other girls weren’t though. One got so sick she couldn’t eat or sleep for about a week after due to stomach cramps.

Needless to say if I do ever become a yoga teacher I will not be teaching Shatkarma (unless it’s to give people my unfettered options of it).

Who knew “Your energy is just so bad” can be used as an insult in an argument – Yoga Teacher Training Week 4

/ travelpilgrim / Leave a comment

And of all places I heard it used it was at yoga teacher training school. I.e. at a place where most people there are really into yoga and so you would have thought are also really into the teachings of yoga, such as being calm and having non-violent thoughts towards each other.

Not the case at all. There were full on arguments across the middle of class on more than one occasion.

I have not been in as bitchy an environment since I went to all girls boarding school. It was actually quite incredible (and really entertaining to watch if you didn’t get involved in the drama).

There were 20 of us and we all lived in one place for 4 weeks, all going to the same classes everyday day so it is only natural there would be some fall outs, I just never expected them to be so public.

Maybe it’s because I’m English, and so have that whole reserved British thing, but in any location I would find it shocking for people to shout at each other across a classroom, let alone at yoga school.

But they did.

And then they used insults such as “you’re energy is just so bad” as an insult in the argument. AN ACTUAL INSULT IN AN ARGUMENT.

I mean really.

If you’re going to yell insults at someone across a yoga studio mid class, you should probably be reassessing how much yoga has “really changed your life” rather than yelling at someone else.

And also maybe start working on your insults.

Don’t enjoy life, just meditate!- Yoga Teacher Training Week 2

/ travelpilgrim / Leave a comment

We’ve had a lot of classes which mention detachment now, i.e. that if you want to be a yogi you have to detach yourself from everything in the world, food (hence the bland food), relationships, emotions etc. The result should be that you feel neither happy or sad, or like or dislike, so that your thoughts are no longer cluttered and you can just meditate.

Whilst that makes sense, it sounds really boring and not like something I want to work towards. The teacher has even described it as being like depression in how it makes people act once they achieve detachment.

That doesn’t make it sound great.

And the explanation as to why I should want this is because it will allow me to reach Samadhi (deep meditation) then enlightenment and eventually go onto a higher place when my physical body dies.

I don’t believe we have multiple lives though or that there is a supreme being and have been given no reason to believe so since being here therefore saying I shouldn’t mind detaching myself from all forms of enjoyment because it will lead to something better after this life isn’t a compelling motivation for me.

If anything it’s making me question bothering to try and be calm and meditate in the first place when you could just make your life about having as much fun as possible instead.

The Cult of Yoga – Yoga Teacher Training Week 1 Cont.

/ travelpilgrim / Leave a comment

I wonder how many yoga cults there are as a lot of the teaching and what we’re doing feels a bit cult like.

We’re being taught a lot of things about the philosophy of yoga but most of it is very akin to the type of things people were told years ago to explain functions we see externally of the body because people weren’t able to see inside or didn’t understand the different processes at the time.

We’ve been being taught about chakras and nadis and koshas all of which aren’t visible but are apparently real none the less. We’re given no reason for that belief though, they just are.

I do believe that our bodies are capable of a lot more than we use them for most of the time which is part of the reason why I do have an interest in learning more about yoga but the ways in which it is being explained that our bodies are capable of more, or how we can activate that capability is for me akin to someone having looked at the body from the outside years ago and then made up a story about how it all works inside. No justification is given other than, well that explains why x happens.

For example, we were told the other day that we have a certain number of breaths in our life. The justification being well dogs and other animals breath faster and they have shorter lives. Yoga teaches us to control our breathing therefore we will live longer if we become a yogi in the sense of dedicating our lives to meditation.

I then asked how old the oldest yogi therefore is, as surely if the theory is true they’ll live much longer than any average person, only to be told the yogis will have died before that point anyway so their soul can be reunited with the supreme being.

Oh ok then. Silly me, I’ll just believe it then.

Which is what most people seems to be doing though. They’re sitting nodding along saying they can feel this energy or that as we chant to some undefined supreme being making it feel more like a cult by the day.

Meditation, is it just hyperventilation? – Yoga Teacher Training Week 1

/ travelpilgrim / Leave a comment

I kind of managed to meditate for what I think is the first time ever this morning. It wasn’t for very long but felt like a good start. Having said that though the reason I could is because we did some breathing exercises first, called pranayama, which make you breath in and out really quickly, kind of like you would if you were hyperventilating. And hyperventilating makes you feel a little light headed so it does make me wonder whether that is really what meditation should be or if it’s a bit of a cheat as, well of course you’re not going to be thinking that much when your head’s spinning.

The complaints – Yoga Teacher Training Day 1 Cont.

/ travelpilgrim / Leave a comment

It states pretty clearly on the website of most yoga schools in Rishikesh that the food will be plain and healthy as you know, it’s a yoga school and that’s the food they believe you should be eating.

It’s also a yoga school in Rishikesh where part of the experience is supposed to be disconnecting from the world a little and giving yourself time to clear your head so you can learn to meditate properly etc. (something I’ve also always not understood/been able to do).

And yet at the first meal people were complaining loudly (in ear shot of the cooks, which is just a bit rude) that the food was so plain and disgusting and how were they going to supposed to eat this for a month. Ummmm maybe coming to a month long yoga course in india where its clearly stated that the food will be plain maybe wasn’t the best plan then, especially if even just one meal like that is apparently so much of an issue.

And then there were those who were so upset about the lack of wifi (it was broken) you would have thought someone just stolen something from them. Some of who were then advising others they’ve just got to deal with the coldness and suck it up (northern india’s pretty cold in January). I’d say keeping your body at a warm enough temperature is more of an essential life requirement than wifi really and if the lack of one was going to be sucked up, it should probably be the wifi. But maybe that’s just me.

Feeling like an outsider – Yoga Teacher Training Day 1

/ travelpilgrim / Leave a comment

We were free for most of the first day and so a number of us walked into the near by town at which point someone mentioned there was a Satsang (not 100% of the spelling) about to happen at one of the ashrams from a famous Brazilian Guru. Part of me was thinking “won’t we have enough of this in the next month anyway, let’s enjoy the free time” but I decided to go anyway, with no knowledge as to what it actually was that we were going to.

Turns out it was a session in which there was music which could be sung along to like mantras and then the Guru reading questions from people and giving his advise. The chanting at the start before the guru arrived was quite fun. It was the part when the guru was there that I was less sure of. He sat, and read a letter from someone saying they were depressed, didn’t have job or friends and what could they do. His advise to me though just seemed like almost platitudes or like an unqualified attempt as psycho analysis. There didn’t seem to be any particularly enlightening or enlightened information imparted but yet all those around me were furiously scribbling down notes and/or crying as he talked.

That made me feel quite a lot like an outsider anyway for just not understanding why everyone was so enthralled and emotional about what this guy was saying when quite frankly I was bored. It’s not that I was fidgety and needed to be someone, I was more than happy to sit and relax but what was being said was no greater than the advise I or anyone of my friends would give someone if they came to one of us with the same problem.

I then got back to the school. keeping my opinions kinda of quite, just in case, to hear people saying that they’d found it so powerful and uplifting and had even started crying just as the guru walked into the room as his presence was so powerful.

I had to leave the conversations as I just didn’t know what I could say without lying, offending a lot of people or most likely doing both at the same time!

Why I’m at a yoga retreat

/ travelpilgrim / Leave a comment

I decided to go to a yoga retreat for a month, which is actually a yoga teacher training programme, in Rishikesh whilst travelling round India as to some extent I’ve never really got yoga. By that I mean, I’ve been to numerous yoga classes but never really understood why it is that people are so evangelical about yoga and come away saying it made them feel or amazing or that it’s changed their lives. As far as I’ve always seen it it’s usually just been a somewhat boring exercise class. I have only ever manage to find one teacher where I’ve properly enjoyed the classes and walked away feeling good but not really any better than had it been a body pump or combat class or the like.

To a lot of people it might therefore seem really strange that I decided this course as the most natural conclusion is just that yoga’s not for me. But there are so many people who are so evangelical about it that I figure there must be something to it that I’m just not understanding. It seems like the problem is me, not the yoga. So I want to try to understand. That’s why I’m here, at a month long yoga retreat, in Rishikesh, where the day starts at 6am each day and there is no caffeine, eggs, meat, sugar or alcohol.