Don’t enjoy life, just meditate!- Yoga Teacher Training Week 2

We’ve had a lot of classes which mention detachment now, i.e. that if you want to be a yogi you have to detach yourself from everything in the world, food (hence the bland food), relationships, emotions etc. The result should be that you feel neither happy or sad, or like or dislike, so that your thoughts are no longer cluttered and you can just meditate.

Whilst that makes sense, it sounds really boring and not like something I want to work towards. The teacher has even described it as being like depression in how it makes people act once they achieve detachment.

That doesn’t make it sound great.

And the explanation as to why I should want this is because it will allow me to reach Samadhi (deep meditation) then enlightenment and eventually go onto a higher place when my physical body dies.

I don’t believe we have multiple lives though or that there is a supreme being and have been given no reason to believe so since being here therefore saying I shouldn’t mind detaching myself from all forms of enjoyment because it will lead to something better after this life isn’t a compelling motivation for me.

If anything it’s making me question bothering to try and be calm and meditate in the first place when you could just make your life about having as much fun as possible instead.

The Cult of Yoga – Yoga Teacher Training Week 1 Cont.

I wonder how many yoga cults there are as a lot of the teaching and what we’re doing feels a bit cult like.

We’re being taught a lot of things about the philosophy of yoga but most of it is very akin to the type of things people were told years ago to explain functions we see externally of the body because people weren’t able to see inside or didn’t understand the different processes at the time.

We’ve been being taught about chakras and nadis and koshas all of which aren’t visible but are apparently real none the less. We’re given no reason for that belief though, they just are.

I do believe that our bodies are capable of a lot more than we use them for most of the time which is part of the reason why I do have an interest in learning more about yoga but the ways in which it is being explained that our bodies are capable of more, or how we can activate that capability is for me akin to someone having looked at the body from the outside years ago and then made up a story about how it all works inside. No justification is given other than, well that explains why x happens.

For example, we were told the other day that we have a certain number of breaths in our life. The justification being well dogs and other animals breath faster and they have shorter lives. Yoga teaches us to control our breathing therefore we will live longer if we become a yogi in the sense of dedicating our lives to meditation.

I then asked how old the oldest yogi therefore is, as surely if the theory is true they’ll live much longer than any average person, only to be told the yogis will have died before that point anyway so their soul can be reunited with the supreme being.

Oh ok then. Silly me, I’ll just believe it then.

Which is what most people seems to be doing though. They’re sitting nodding along saying they can feel this energy or that as we chant to some undefined supreme being making it feel more like a cult by the day.

Meditation, is it just hyperventilation? – Yoga Teacher Training Week 1

I kind of managed to meditate for what I think is the first time ever this morning. It wasn’t for very long but felt like a good start. Having said that though the reason I could is because we did some breathing exercises first, called pranayama, which make you breath in and out really quickly, kind of like you would if you were hyperventilating. And hyperventilating makes you feel a little light headed so it does make me wonder whether that is really what meditation should be or if it’s a bit of a cheat as, well of course you’re not going to be thinking that much when your head’s spinning.

The complaints – Yoga Teacher Training Day 1 Cont.

It states pretty clearly on the website of most yoga schools in Rishikesh that the food will be plain and healthy as you know, it’s a yoga school and that’s the food they believe you should be eating.

It’s also a yoga school in Rishikesh where part of the experience is supposed to be disconnecting from the world a little and giving yourself time to clear your head so you can learn to meditate properly etc. (something I’ve also always not understood/been able to do).

And yet at the first meal people were complaining loudly (in ear shot of the cooks, which is just a bit rude) that the food was so plain and disgusting and how were they going to supposed to eat this for a month. Ummmm maybe coming to a month long yoga course in india where its clearly stated that the food will be plain maybe wasn’t the best plan then, especially if even just one meal like that is apparently so much of an issue.

And then there were those who were so upset about the lack of wifi (it was broken) you would have thought someone just stolen something from them. Some of who were then advising others they’ve just got to deal with the coldness and suck it up (northern india’s pretty cold in January). I’d say keeping your body at a warm enough temperature is more of an essential life requirement than wifi really and if the lack of one was going to be sucked up, it should probably be the wifi. But maybe that’s just me.

Feeling like an outsider – Yoga Teacher Training Day 1

We were free for most of the first day and so a number of us walked into the near by town at which point someone mentioned there was a Satsang (not 100% of the spelling) about to happen at one of the ashrams from a famous Brazilian Guru. Part of me was thinking “won’t we have enough of this in the next month anyway, let’s enjoy the free time” but I decided to go anyway, with no knowledge as to what it actually was that we were going to.

Turns out it was a session in which there was music which could be sung along to like mantras and then the Guru reading questions from people and giving his advise. The chanting at the start before the guru arrived was quite fun. It was the part when the guru was there that I was less sure of. He sat, and read a letter from someone saying they were depressed, didn’t have job or friends and what could they do. His advise to me though just seemed like almost platitudes or like an unqualified attempt as psycho analysis. There didn’t seem to be any particularly enlightening or enlightened information imparted but yet all those around me were furiously scribbling down notes and/or crying as he talked.

That made me feel quite a lot like an outsider anyway for just not understanding why everyone was so enthralled and emotional about what this guy was saying when quite frankly I was bored. It’s not that I was fidgety and needed to be someone, I was more than happy to sit and relax but what was being said was no greater than the advise I or anyone of my friends would give someone if they came to one of us with the same problem.

I then got back to the school. keeping my opinions kinda of quite, just in case, to hear people saying that they’d found it so powerful and uplifting and had even started crying just as the guru walked into the room as his presence was so powerful.

I had to leave the conversations as I just didn’t know what I could say without lying, offending a lot of people or most likely doing both at the same time!

Why I’m at a yoga retreat

I decided to go to a yoga retreat for a month, which is actually a yoga teacher training programme, in Rishikesh whilst travelling round India as to some extent I’ve never really got yoga. By that I mean, I’ve been to numerous yoga classes but never really understood why it is that people are so evangelical about yoga and come away saying it made them feel or amazing or that it’s changed their lives. As far as I’ve always seen it it’s usually just been a somewhat boring exercise class. I have only ever manage to find one teacher where I’ve properly enjoyed the classes and walked away feeling good but not really any better than had it been a body pump or combat class or the like.

To a lot of people it might therefore seem really strange that I decided this course as the most natural conclusion is just that yoga’s not for me. But there are so many people who are so evangelical about it that I figure there must be something to it that I’m just not understanding. It seems like the problem is me, not the yoga. So I want to try to understand. That’s why I’m here, at a month long yoga retreat, in Rishikesh, where the day starts at 6am each day and there is no caffeine, eggs, meat, sugar or alcohol.